This Might Be the Weirdest Startup I’ve Ever Audited

Another day, another AI startup.

This one’s called Horae AI.

From the name, I thought it was a time-tracking tool, or maybe something Greek and poetic.

Turns out it’s an AI. But what does it do? 

Honestly…not sure?

It feels like a multiverse of madness, the more I scroll through it.

Let’s break this down in my usual Money Grab Audit format.

This could be a great lesson in how to sell techy things that are hard to sell.

Let’s go.

The 30-Second Money Grab Audit

My Rating: 1/10 on the “Will-I-throw-money-at-you” scale.

Because even though it might be a good product, the way it’s explained is…

Very difficult for me to crack even though I am a graduate and master’s in Computer Science.

Let’s go step by step.

1. Above the Fold = AI Buzzword Soup

The first thing I see is:

“Horae: Benevolent Ambient General Intelligence for The Lifespan of Human Data”

Okay but… what? 

Ambient? Human DataBit? What does it do for me?

The words sound sci-fi, not SaaS.

This is the problem: Buzzwords without clarity.

Here’s what I instantly think:

• Is this an AI spiritual advisor?

• Is it something to do with life extension?

• Is this for me?

If I can’t figure out what you do in 5 seconds, I’m gone. And so is your customer.

2. Greek Goddesses Shouldn’t Handle Your Positioning

When I scrolled down to understand what this was, I saw this

So this really is a Sci fi , multiverse and Greek stuff mix in one…!!??

I love metaphors, positioning, and storytelling.

But when your entire framework depends on users' understanding Thallo, Auxo, and Carpo and assigning each to a technical function…

You’re not explaining. You’re hiding.

The Horae myth is cool — three goddesses of seasons representing stages of data. But your user isn’t here to study mythology. They’re trying to figure out this product.

So if I can understand this, it is about protecting our content, digital legacy, licensing etc.

This could be very helpful. But it is all drowning inside the story and heavy jargon.

That should be your copy’s job. Not telling me how Carpo empowers licensing decisions.

3. The Tech Is Cutting-Edge. The Copy Is From a Sci-Fi Lab.

Phrases found on the site:

• “Multimodal metamaterial, neural networked, decentralized ambient pervasive ubiquitous cyber-physical realities”

• “DePIN Decentralized Physical Infrastructure Network”

• “Human DataBit”

Infact, I put the entire copy in hemingway and we got 28 sentences that are VERY hard to do.

Your entire copy should be written for grade 8 and should not have ANY HARD SENTENCES.

Use hemingway to test this.

What’s missing? Simple things like:

• “This is what we do”

• “This is how it works”

• “This is who it’s for”

Use metaphor for flavor. 

Use clarity for trust. 

Right now, it feels like I need a physics degree and an astrology chart just to sign up.

4. The Core Idea Is Powerful … But It’s Lost in the Weeds

Once you really squint and read everything, you realize the core product idea is amazing:

• A decentralized, open-source Holographic Patent Office

• Powered by AI

• That gives individuals ownership over their data, verifies authorship, and lets them manage it with control panels

But that’s not said clearly. 

There’s no clear user journey. 

No screen showing the dashboard. 

No step-by-step: “Here’s how your data gets tracked and protected.”

Imagine you just said:

Boom. Now I get it.

5. The CTA is… a Podcast?

Right now, the main CTA on the homepage is to… listen to a podcast episode auto-generated by Google’s NotebookLM.

So instead of:

• Signing up

• Viewing a demo

• Reading docs

I’m being invited to hear two AI voices talk about something I haven’t understood yet.

6. Lemme Rewrite this

Okay, so maybe the product is not developed enough to sell, add a demo CTA, or features

But this page should still explain what the tech is.

It should be a pad for market research and understanding if customers need it, if customers will pay for something like this, or even if they understand your mission.

So clarity should still be #1 priority. Let me rewrite it now.

Your Data. Your Work. Rightfully Yours.

In a world of AI-generated everything, it’s getting harder to prove what’s truly yours.

That’s where Horae.AI steps in.

An open-source initiative building digital infrastructure to protect your authorship, track your data, and put you in control of how it’s used.

No platforms. No hidden permissions. No guessing.

What We’re Building

We call it the Holographic Patent Office — a decentralized system to help people:

✅ Prove they created something (authorship verification)
✅ Track how their data or content is used online (provenance)
✅ Decide who gets access, and under what terms (control + permissions)

Whether you’re a writer, coder, researcher, artist, or just a human with data — Horae wants to help you own what’s yours.

How It Works (Soon)

We’re still building. But here’s the core system we’re designing:

1. Thallo (Creation)
    Tracks the origin of your data and content .. like a digital birth certificate.

2. Auxo (Verification)
    Uses AI to analyze your work and verify authorship — style, behavior, signature patterns.

3. Carpo (Control)
    A dashboard where you manage your dataset permissions, licensing, and future use.

These are inspired by the Horae: Greek goddesses of seasons and natural order. We’re building tools to bring that order to your digital life.

Why It Matters

Platforms profit from your creativity, your content, and your behavior while you get no credit, no control, and no clue how your data is used.

We believe that should change.

This project is for people who want to say:

What You Can Do Now

We’re still in development , but we’re inviting collaborators, testers, privacy nerds, and open-source believers to help us shape this from the ground up.
 🔹 [Sign up to test the demo when ready]

The Future of Data Ownership Starts with People

No more silent data harvesting.
No more stolen authorship.
No more creating for free while others profit.

Let the Horae guard what’s rightfully yours.

And yes, that’s it.

TLDR real quick:

• No AI Slop, please

• Storytelling should move you forward, not confuse them

• Use Hemingway and aim for grade 8 and ZERO hard sentences

• Techy stuff can be simplified down. Think — WHY, HOW, FOR HOW?

• It might sound cool to you but how would someone with no context read it?

• Actually, get it read by someone with no context (ideally ME ;))

If you want a teardown like this for your startup, I do 3 free SaaS audits each month.

I love diagnosis SaaS for what’s bleeding their MRRs, and you’re too close to see it.

If this is something you’re interested in, just reply to this email with “Interested” and we’ll get going.

See you next Friday with some more of this!

Cheers,

Arunima